New Habit Happiness, Acceptance, Positive, Motivated

Do you want to be a better person? I guess we would all answer "YES" but what do I have to do? And will I want to do that? And that is the problem for most of us. We set ourselves targets but don't reach them because we give up or don't even start. Look at New Year Resolutions. Lots of us make these at the beginning of the year - go on a diet, do more exercise, take the dog our for longer walks, learn a language, save some money, give up or cut down on alcohol or sugar. We start in earnest but by the end of week one we are already slipping. Week two starts and you are tired after work: can you not go to the gym just today! Ok. It'll be fine. The following week the same happens and in week four you are down to going twice a week. After that you just give up. There are too many other priorities. You have to plan your habit and follow through. The saying is plan your work and work your plan.
The beginning of the year is probably the worse time to start anything. The Spring is the best. Holidays are only a few months or even weeks away, the weather is better for outdoor activities, we want to throw off the winter blues. So Spring is good. And guess what! Its Spring now. So lets put a spring in our step - and in our minds and start.

Max Depree once said that we cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are. If your goal is to become a better person by being a better leader, businessperson,  entrepreneur parent, mentor, friend or teacher, then the first step is to learn to do better. And doing better is something we all can aspire to, wherever we are, whatever we're already doing.

That aspiration--to constantly improve, to always be changing and growing, to keep doing better--is what keeps us moving forward. However successful we already may be, it's how we prepare the way for tomorrow's success. The alternative is a sad one: to look back one day and wish you had done better.

The time to start is today. So I'm suggesting that you start some new habits over the coming weeks. Someone suggested starting a new habit every day for a week but I gave that a go and was finding it difficult by day two!!  A journey starts with a single step. The long haul isn't a sprint then being exhausted and dragging yourself for the rest of the way, or giving up. So I'd suggest starting a new habit weekly.

That might still be a struggle but it does mean 7 new habits in 49 days. And they say do something regularly every day for a month and it will become a habit so after just 4 new habits, the first one will become natural to you. I'm calling this the 49 Steps, a challenge I hope you'll take up with me. Write a comment below and join me on the Facebook page, click here  where you can also comment or write posts. My first video goes up today and here is the text.

Today’s habit is to select your thoughts and changing the way to speak to be optimistic, positive, accepting and happy.

The first thing to do is to start the day listening to something happy. For most people the first thing they see or hear is the TV or radio. And the news pops up with negative bad stuff. National disasters, deaths, loss of jobs, misery. Even when you are listening to a music show the news creeps in. If your first contacts with the outside world are negative then your whole day with start that way.

So I’d suggest selecting your own choice of music and listen to this, either through your home equipment or your mp3 which is probably your smartphone today.

Good music in the mornings has a good beat because this will raise your soul and heart-beat. It will also get you moving faster and feeling positive. Feeling positive will make you be happier in your skin and accept more who and what you are. Feeling positive will make you optimistic. And when you talk to others you will speak to them in a positive optimist way.

If you are a perfectionist you need to think about living for the moment. Think. Is it better to do something that is your best effort but possibly flawed, than strive for perfection, because with some things you will never reach perfection.  And learn from each experience so the next is better and improved. Think! I don’t make mistakes, I have learning experiences that will enhance my appreciation of life, make my next shot better and leave me feeling I have done my best at that moment.

If you just do your best in that moment you can come away feeling that you accept yourself and all your strengths and weaknesses. And you will feel good about yourself.

As you meet others show this new positive side by smiling, greeting them where appropriate and talking in positive way. If the weather is bad say “looks like its going to clear soon” rather than isn’t it awful today.

And listen to yourself. You can think about what you are going to say before your open your mouth. Check and be careful. A recent survey actually showed that we have a better feeling towards others if they talk positively.

And when you speak positively you’ll stand up straighter than  when you are talking negatively.  And first impressions count so give a good first impression.

And make this your new habit that you will use every day from now. Good luck. Please leave a comment.

 

Actions Speak louder . . .

Hi Guys

Taking Action is the seed for everything. For without action there is no future.

 Take a look at this very short video I made in January, last month. Not raining for a change but was it windy. But I had to do it. If you put off actions because of circumstances you'll never get anything done.

So coughing liked an old man (ok no jokes please!) I set off for the beach. Wrapped up warm I was still cold as the wind shook me. I felt that although the wind was spoiling the true sound, it was important to carry on. And in fact I think the wind adds a new dimension, and you can hear me clearly.
We all need to dream but then we must turn that seed of a dream into reality. Just think about seeds for one moment. I used to grow vegetables in my garden and greenhouse and kept back some seeds each year. Now most seeds are better bought because they are cultivated by the seed suppliers to be genetically good to succeed. Sometimes you take your own seeds from your produce and they turn out to be bad and either don't grow at all or are disfigured. In the end the only seeds I kept were from my runner beans and the originals had been given to me by an elderly neighbor who, in turn, had been given them by her neighbor many years previously. And every year they grew consistently good. Every year they gave a bumper crop of delicious beans. So many in fact that we gave many away to friends and neighbors and still had enough for our daily needs plus sufficient to freeze and give us many more meals. By the way there are two points here. First, be kind and generous to friends and neighbours, secondly without me taking action every year we would not have had delicious beans freshly grown. I used to pick them, top and tail them and then straight into a pan of boiling water. Minutes later drained, butter added and onto the plate. 

I read last week that over half of the population spend more than an hour a day think about their future and dreaming about what they want. And many of these dreams can be turned into reality by just taking the first step. OK! So its going to be a struggle to be an astronaut if you haven't had a reasonable education including (probably science) and a university degree. You can't fly without wings. But . . you could start looking for your dream job. You could take a course in something you are interested in, you could take driving lessons, take a second job and start saving for that new house or holiday or car. 

If you really want it you can do it. Remember! There's no gain without pain. Most times it is uncomfortable starting to work towards your dream. But try to forget that pain and just do it.

And when you start leave a comment here. I really want to know what you are doing.

Life Skills that enhance Life

Hi Everyone

Seems to me there are two types of life skills and both are valuable in our future success.

The first set of life skills are defined by Ellen Galinsky, based on the ideas of the French psychologist Jean Piaget, who is generally recognized as the father of developmental psychology charting how children grow mentally from babies through being toddlers to school.

These skills are Focus and Self-Control, Perspective Taking, Communicating,Making Connections, Critical Thinking,Taking on Challenges and finally Self-Directed, Engaged Learning.

These are all skills that we should learn as children to help us succeed in life. So, for example we should learn focus and self-control so that we can concentrate on what we are doing and not be distracted.

Unfortunately we are now in an age where this self control and focus is diminishing in many cases and you can see this with that device we all carry now - the mobile phone. Have you noticed how so many people are distracted by their phones during conversation and at meal-time for example. And this now covers all ages and intelligence levels. Go to a restaurant and watch the diners. Usually conversation has died and it's not unusual for everyone at a table to be texting, reading messages or talking on their phones. And this of course not only demonstrates the lack of focus and self control but shows a lack of common good manners to the others they are dining with.

Likewise YouTube clam that most people will switch from any video they are watching after about a minute, and anything longer than 3 minutes had better be absolutely riveting to retain any interest. 

So by learning how to focus and how to have self-control, and then being able to put this into practice can put you head and shoulders above the rest. But this not only works for whatever we are doing at the moment but also achieving what we want in the future. For how can you succeed if you have a goal but can't focus long enough to take the steps necessary to achieve it?

The last skill in this list is self-directed self-learning skills that will enable us to undertake work, to carry out practical jobs in our social environment and to be increase our interlect through creative skills, all of which we can learn. And in general get a direction to our future.

So it is recognised that we live in an ever changing world where there is no job for life, where our social lives are continually evolving. And this has changed dramatically just in the last 30 years or so. When I left school everyone said get a job in a bank, as a teacher, in local government and you've got a job for life with a good pension. And many of my peers did just that. And now they've retired with their pension and, in many cases their lives continue to be a regular routine that hasn't changed through the years. I read that over 85% of the population are unhappy at work so for many its been a lifetime of over 80,000 hours of unhappiness or at the very least boredom and unfulfillment. Many have taken up hobbies that have become absorbing and filled the void from being unhappy at work but not all.

Now we live in a different world. A world with more opportunities, A world where you can achieve anything that is physically possible. I'm not saying that you can do anything. It's highly unlikely you'll become a premier league footballer if you have a physical disability that prevents this: its unlikely you'll be able to fly without wings. But there is nothing to stop you becoming a millionaire, a university professor, a top artist or writer. You just need the life skills to achieve this. focus and self control to start with and the knowledge to carry out your ambition. If you want to be an artist then you need to learn to draw and paint. Looking back at the greats is inspirational. We look at all the artists of old and most had an apprenticeship where they nay have worked with a master artist for years learning how to paint hands or eyes, clouds or water. And only when they mastered these skills did they move on to create works themselves. 

Now this is becoming simple. We don't need vast shelves of  encyclodepeas because its all on the internet. You can find anything online. I believe that books are invaluable and I've quite a library including how-to books and classics; and I read frequently but this is just one resource. I still like the feel of books and settling down to read is relaxing and can help me switch off from general life for a while. But there are so many more resources online for an immediate answer.

So you can learn anything for free. But to learn about a specific subject such as photography or gardening, cake-making or a new language then I highly recommend

enrolling in a paid course. There are courses on every subject under the sun and the benefits are that you will be taught by a professional in a planned learning schedule. All the information will be together so you wont waste time on searching it out, and the information should be accurate so you won't have to decide what is correct or otherwise. And finally you'll be able to ask questions and set up a dialogue should you wish. 

Learn a new skill today. Find a course that covers something you want to learn or do and feel the satisfaction when you finish.

Here are my courses. Click on the image to go to the website

 

Tips to influence people

Hi Folk

I've often heard people say "They are a born salesman. They could sell ice to an Eskimo" Usually implying that sales skills are mainly the ability to talk. Nothing could be father from the truth. . Yes there are some attributes that will help a sales-person succeed but I firmly believe that sales-people are made.

Would you go for treatment by a born doctor, particularly if they were untrained and wielding a scalpel. Would you take your car to a born mechanic who hadn't been through an apprenticeship to become capable. No you wouldn't. And sales-people are the same. They need good training in all aspects of the job. Selling is about bringing produces or services together with someone who wants, needs or desires that product and can afford it. People are reticent about making decisions and so the sales-person job is to help them come to that decision.

This course is created to go through the closing aspect of selling. The part where you do need to nudge the buyer. A bit like a sheepdog driving his flock into a pen, maybe across rough terrain and open country.
The art of closing is a great skill in life too. It will help you influence people to your way of thinking at home, with friends, in the community and at work. Closing is an art that is associated with selling but in fact one that we can use successfully every day.

This course covers many different ways to influence others, some you will know and others may be new. You may want to try some and see how successful you are. Remember, closing is an art, And any art needs practice, whether painting, writing or even talking..Conversation is a real art and by dropping some closing techniques in, they will become natural and part of talking. 

My favourite social or family close is the alternative. It's described in the course as a selling tool. Let me tell you how to use it at home. 

Lets say you want to go to see a movie. Most people would say "Lets go out tonight. Do you want to see  (name of movie)? and often the reply is "I've had a bad day today. Lets stay in" or "I don't want to see that film. Lets go for a meal or get a takeaway"

And you are shot in the foot - figuratively of course. You didn't figure that out did you.

If you had firstly talked about the film in broad terms and used expressions like "So and so is in it. I know you like him" "We haven't been to see a movie for ages" and so on.

Then say "Honey how about going out tonight. That movie we talked about looks really good. Shall we go at 7 or would the later show be better?" Suddenly the emphasis is on which performance, not whether to go or not. And that's an easier choice to make. This is so simple but it works well. Not every time but most times. Why don't you try this next time you want to go out. Remember it doesn't have to be the movies, might be a meal or other entertainment. There are about 20 different ways to close in this course so you have plenty of choice. You just need to transform them from a business situation to a home or social occasion.

Kids are easier to persuade with this type of psychology too.

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If you feel that you have a course in your head and want any help in writing and producing it do leave a comment. I'd love to see you succeed. Whether about a hobby or interest, a skill such as make-up, cooking or motor mechanics this is your opportunity.

regards

The Human Chain Reaction

Hi Folks

Have you ever given way to a car when you are crawling along on rush hour and see what can happen? The driver gives a wave and you all crawl along again. You see a car waiting to pull out ahead and think “I’ve done my share this morning” and think you’ll drive past. Next thing is that the car you helped does the same.

And there is often a chain reaction. I’ve seen it with people being polite and holding doors open, giving way and many other small things. And they almost always result in his chain reaction.

But the opposite isn’t the same. If you have a bad day and snap at a shop assistant or shout at a motorist, you don’t see the same happening. You don’t see that same motorist snarling at someone else, or the next person in the queue be aggressive to the assistant.

After researching this over recent months I’ve come to the conclusion that we all know what we should do, that there is an accepted code of conduct. People ignore that code very often but when someone acts with thoughtfulness then it does snowball, And I'll tell you what. Everybody feels good.

 When we have a kindness then it sort of reminds us start being gallant. Unfortunately I also discovered that this good feeling doesn’t last and needs constant reminding. Maybe it’s because we are all too busy. Maybe we are becoming more self-centred; selfish and introvert. Unfortunately I think it’s a mix of the two.

We do lead busy lives but in many cases that’s our own fault. We don’t have to do everything. We can slow down. Do you look at your emails of Facebook throughout the day? Do you sit around thinking about what you could be doing, but not doing anything about it.

So maybe you should think about slowing down, getting focused and putting people at the top of your list. Try a little experiment. Start really appreciating someone. Might be someone you work with, a friend or even someone in your family. Don't go over the top or you;ll give the wrong signals. Just thank and praise them when they do something. Make them a coffee if you don't usually. Tell them to sit down for 5 minutes. Tell them you like their hair or clothes if they look good. But be sincere, don't flatter and say something that's not true.

You will be amazed at what happens. In the majority of cases that person will start doing better at their job or whatever the relationship is with you. If you go through life acting like this towards everyone you'll certainly gain more friends and influence people.

Finally, thinking or planning to have a stand at an exhibition? I'll be running an online course shortly. If you have a query about exhibitions leave a comment. Meanwhile here is a photo of me with my son the rabbit. This was my Radio Pager Company in the days before mobile phones. "But that's forever ago" I hear you say. No! I think about 20 years. So much has happened.