Get motivated to take enthusiastic action that will help you turn that dream into reality. One step at a time and you will surely achieve anything.

Saturday, October 29, 2016

All the Lonely People - where do they all come from!

Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been. Lives in a dream. Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?
All the lonely people. Where do they all come from? All the lonely people. Where do they all belong? 

The world is full of lonely people. There might be a lonely person sitting next to you on the bus, working alongside you at work, behind the window you are walking past, or even in the next room to you now - in the heart of your family. 
Loneliness can be staring you in the face in the mirror and you can't see it. Maybe you are lonely, can't find anyone on the same length, can't talk to strangers or even your family and tell them your inner most secret thoughts. Loneliness doesn't discriminate. Loneliness sometimes strikes us when we least expect it. Loneliness does affect us all at sometime, even for a brief spell. But some people spend a life of loneliness, never having anyone to share with. Have a look at the first illustration and see if any of the descriptive words strike a cord. If you can list more than three then you need to look at your life.

Loneliness is not a disability but a whole variety of disabilities can make people lonely. And many of these disabilities are outside the categories of disability as laid down in the original DDA (Disability Discrimination Act) but I still think they are disabilities and have barriers that need to broken down. 

I'm talking about self confidence and self esteem. I'm talking about negativity and inaction. I'm talking about those who are trapped, perhaps when they are at work and not able to apply for a new position or even finding any satisfaction there. And considering most of us spend a third of our days at work then this is really depressing. I read the other day that over 81% of the population spend more than an hour a day thinking about what they'd like to do if they could, or if they won the lottery, or had a car, or had friends to go out with at the weekend. Think about it. That is equivalent to almost one and a half days a month. Wishing your life away.
There are some people that so lack in confidence and self esteem that they won't even go out of their from door. 
 Think how difficult this is, for what I guess we would call able-bodied people! Now consider how much more difficult for disabled folk. Maybe someone who has little or no eye-sight; a wheelchair user; or someone who has a mental disability. And some do suffer but many have managed to overcome and found confidence to do great things. Have a look at the Paralympics. Look at politicians and scientists that have done so well. 
So here's the thing. If you feel lonely are are out and about start being aware of others. Instead of sitting there afraid to look at others or say anything. Start looking at other people in the face, not starting but just looking at them for a second or two and smile. Don't carry on looking. Look away after a second or two, long enough for them to recognise and respond. Then move on. This is really beneficial.
  •  It actually makes you feel good inside, smiling lightens your spirit
  • The other person may smile back and this will make them feel good. Most people feel good if they are just acknowledged with a smile.
  • The other person may smile at someone else and the cycle continues.
  • This will ripple out and affect many people over a relatively fast period. 
  • I guess smiling is a good head exercise too.
 Look at this girl here. If she smiled at you then you'd probably feel good and smile back. This is not some sort of strange way to pick up or be picked up by someone but merely a stranger giving a happy signal.Give it a try. And you can raise your confidence too. A smile is often the introduction to an exchange of words. But first step first. Want to shrug off loneliness or build your confidence? Then start smiling at people today. I know its not easy but take that first step and it will become easier and more enjoyable every time.
Out of interest I smile and talk to most people in shops, on buses and trains, queuing anywhere, in doctors waiting rooms. I'm not looking for any sort of conversation just passing the time of day. If someone wants to talk more then I'm usually up for it. Usually it's "Lovely day isn't it", "Did you see the match yesterday?" "It's busy here today isn't it" Try this and be surprised day. Sometimes people will ignore you, others they'll look annoyed but in my experience about 98 out of every 100 will respond positively.

So stop thinking you ain't good enough. Throw away that invisible cloak that you hide inside. Step out into the real world and live. So forget about the words at the top of the page and look at this grid. Now choose the words that describe you or that you would like to be described as. Learn about your inner self
Now look at those words again. Easy! Positive! Optimistic! Free! Certain! Daring! Affectionate! Curious! Who do you know who has all those characteristics? Would you like to be more like them? To be more confident, with self-esteem, and a good mixer you need to gather others with those qualities around you, they will energise you and also ward off pessimistic, miserable lonely people.  

The secret of life is to 


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